Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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