What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i need to put some appletini on your dick
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
