one might say we're banned from that church
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
