There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
