one two three fourrrrnication!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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