btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ugly people sure do ruin things
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
