Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
