If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
