There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
