Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
