you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
