Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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