Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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