wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
