singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
high people should be assigned attendants
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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