haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
