we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
