i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
