I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
