i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
