I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
