you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
