One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
