We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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