i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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