we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
