remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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