Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize