ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize