why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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