How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
