it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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