she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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