Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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