McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
