the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
