what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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