Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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