just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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