Well douche your snatch and let's go!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
