end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
