maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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