my phone needs a breathalizer
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
