her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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