She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
