It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
