how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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