i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
