we need to drink 2009 down the drain
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
