I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize