I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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