You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize