I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
