i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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