Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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