Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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