How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
