? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
