that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
