dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
