My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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