Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
